A Whole Lot of Nothin' (Track 12, 21st Century Writings)

Why have I been sitting here,
Trying to reach out to draw you near.
With my eyes not willing to see very clear,
And endin' up with a whole lot of nothin'.

How long will I keep this veil over my eyes,
Before I wake up and begin to realize.
I must have been self-hypnotized,
Between you and me, there's a whole lot of nothin'.

CHORUS:
And I ask myself why,
that I should need an alibi
I can see now,
It's life and life only

What makes me not want to see,
What my soul has been telling me?
This dark cloud that's been over me,
Was the fact that there was really nothin'.

You only wanted what you thought was real,
I don't know if you know how to feel.
Was it really for you only a business deal,
That made it feel like I was holdin' a whole lot of
nothin'?

CHORUS:
I thought that you could feel,
that my love for you was really real.
But that don't matter now,
For life has found me.

Now I stop and look around
And finally see what I've really found.
I guess that it really isn't that profound,
That I was holdin' a whole lot of nothin'.

For myself I've lost respect,
That I could give and then expect.
And wanting you to give something back,
And be left with a plate full of nothin'.

CHORUS:
And now I leave it up to you,
Swimming in circles in your own canoe.
And it's all right now,
I'm only feeling.

I was so willing myself to compromise,
Forget the mystery I was trying to actualize.
It was really me, that I brutalized, and left me
holding a whole lot of nothin'.

I kept myself blind so I wouldn't have to see,
The message that you've been sending me.
That you have only been using me,
Leaving me holding a whole lot of nothin'.

CHORUS:
And I've found,
At your gypsy feet.
That you weren't all that discrete,
I just feel like trying something new.

For you I have no respect,
That you really didn't think that you could get
Your own deals and a playing deck,
Leaving me looking at a whole lot of nothin'.

All along I've loved something that wasn't there,
I guess that's why it felt you weren't really there.
Like trying to make bread using only thin air,
No wonder I'm left with a whole lot of nothin'.

CHORUS:
Is it real?
Is it okay to feel?
If I exposed my self to you
Would you try to kill it?

Is love really all that blind,
That I would crawl right out of my mind?
And leave my own needs that far behind?
Leaving me holding a whole lot of nothin'.

I think I need to find something new,
What I need I'll never get from you.
I think your picture might be a bit askew,
Leaving you always lookin' for something.

CHORUS:
And the time is drawing near
It all seems so very clear.
I've got to walk away,
Or end up dying.

I really think you would have drained it dry,
And then come up with some alibi.
How you needed it all just to get by,
Leaving me holding a whole lot of nothin'.

I'm sure there are women with somethin' to give,
In the wrong back yard I've been trying to dig.
I've got to let go of this ill-fated gig,
Or I'm going to be left with a whole lot of nothin'.

CHORUS:
I wish that you could see,
The destruction that you keep leaving me,
I let it go now,
And now I'm living.